Groundhog Day is lame.

[ Watch Groundhog Day 2009 here ]



Here's what it is. A bunch of people, mainly old men in black suits and top hats, huddle around a fake groundhog burrow. One man pulls the groundhog out and holds him up in the air Lion King-style as the poor little guy wiggles around. Then they put the groundhog on a flat surface, gather around him and stare at him eye-level as he sniffs the covered platform. After that, the men share a look of, "Oh, did he say something? Ok, let's all turn at the same time and nod like we understand." A poem is read aloud, and the crowd cheers as the men tell us all about the groundhog's weather predictions for the next six weeks.

Granted, the video linked above begins with the main guy saying, "We say there are a lot of serious and important things in life, and Groundhog Day is not one of them. It is just serious fun."

What gets me is the fact that everyone pretends to take this thing seriously, even though nobody does or is expected to. Every year, news casters say, "Oh, little groundhog, please don't see your shadow! Oh, you did? Oh no! Now we have six weeks of winter left! Boo!"

I think Groundhog day is lame because not only is it the same thing year after year, but it's one of the most absurd holidays we have that gets mainstream attention. Why look to a groundhog for important weather information? Why not look to, oh, I don't know, the location of Earth relative to the sun? Or if that's too hard, how about the Weather Channel?


What, you think I have no sense of humor? Well, it's just hard for me to either laugh at these groundhogs or take them seriously when I'm so overly annoyed by the tradition as a whole (and the resulting media coverage). I believe groundhogs are cute, chubby little creatures; meteorologists, they are not.

Interestingly enough, according to Wikipedia's entry on Groundhog Day, proponents of the tradition state the groundhogs are accurate 75% to 90% of the time. However, in real life, their success rate is 39%. That's a solid F by nearly all standards.

So why do people do it? I mean, 40,000 people can't be wrong. On second thought, 4 million people bought Snuggies, so 40,000 is certainly within the realm of possibility.